With the onset of motherhood a piece of me feared losing myself between the soiled diapers and the endearing expressions produced by Ramlet. One thing the best mamas I've observed have in common is they continue a personal identity while adding mothering to their talents. A quilter shouldn't give up design, a music lover their groovy mixes.
While waiting out early pregnancy's morning sickness (aka all-day nausea/dizziness/etc), I developed a plan of action for my months before Ramlet's arrival. Some of the items were practical, like
finding a new place to live and
moving. Some goals involved
art and
creations I worried would never materialize with a newborn's incessant schedule.
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| Counted Cross-Stitch: more tedious than morning sickness. |
My month-by-month action plan blossomed larger than essential tasks and tardy creative intentions. I began considering motherhood an opportunity for me to become more of who I am by crafting a better me. So I pried myself away from the gripping "your growing body/baby" books to reread the entire Bible. I wanted a refresher on what I believe, on the hope I want to pass on to Ramlet. I jazzed up this ambitious goal by reading The Message translation supplemented by my trusty pocket NIV.
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| Do not be deceived. The smaller book is much, much longer. Sneaky tiny font. |
As I crossed off items on the pre-baby action plan, I realized crafting a better me doesn't end with the Ramlet's birth. For better or worse, being a mom is being a closely scrutinized example for a child. And I don't want my child to be chronically late, to use sloppy language, or to slack on developing his talents.
I'm going to fail, often, but I'm not going to let that be a deterrent from trying. So I'm going to respect other people's time by being on time. Instead of being lazy with my words I'm going to use precise language (for example: "I hate poopy diapers" when I mean "Poopy diapers stink!"). And,
yes, I'm writing every day--even when I only find time to scribble down a few notes. Someday I may want to finish that novel or simply remember the first time Ramlet hugged me back.
Have you ever used a major life transition to craft a better you?
